Things to do List

1) Visit/Call ah gong

2) Take the Fujitsu laptop for repairing

3) Clear/Tidy my stuffs and my room

4) Fix the handphone

5) Get a shaver

6) Return stuffs to Mummy

7) Fix the PSP

Ideas Overflowing

My brain seems to be on some sort of cracks or a boost in adrenaline rush.

A lot of ideas and plans hatched in my mind over the course of just 2 freaking days, ideas and plans that the mere thought of it makes me feel so hyped up and enthusiastic.

I’m not the type of guy who does regular exercise with my brains so it’s kind of a paranormal phenomenon for such a thing to happen. And god knows why the sudden rush of ideas and urge to do things.

A few of them involves decorating the house with Christmas decoration, getting a new desk for my room, getting rid of that stupid cabinet that’s been taking up space since god knows when and saving up for a personal computer. Hoping to bring in the festive spirits of Christmas and New Year and perhaps some self-indulging .

Yet another idea involves setting up a LAN shop or Internet Cafe. However, that idea is a bit too far-fetched but it seems that I’ve been going through with that idea in my mind more than I notice. As I’m constantly thinking about stuffs like where should I set this cafe at? how am I going to make a mass order of computers? how should I go about developing a system for it? how much is it going to costs us? Will it make money for us? Am I capable of doing it? etc, you get the point.

This idea inspired by my mom sets me thinking for hours and hours and frankly speaking, I’m not very used to that (I mean thinking). I don’t know if my parents really want to set up a small business or they’re just playing around with me. Probably they have this mindset of leaving something for me so I wouldn’t starve to death with my O level cert.

Whatever it’s, I’m holding off my idea until Monday when I’m done with Takashimaya and Medical Checkup. Until then, I’m giving my brain a “off day”.

I’m not really used to thinking and planning. This brain of mine hasn’t been put into proper use since the start of the 2000 millennium.

Reminders

It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way.

Feeling apologetic and remorseful for letting my darling down.

I begin to fear that this may be the final straw for her and eventually I’m to be blamed for the downfall of this relationship should it happen.

When things are going smooth, people tend to take everything( including their blessings in life ) for granted. I’m no exception. Just last month, my darling was extremely furious at the fact that I’m smoking behind her back and lying to her each time when she brought up the question.

And just earlier today, I didn’t keep my words and ended up disappointing her so much.

I feel so bad, so hurt from her messages and so remorseful. Several times, I tried to sms her something but I couldn’t think of anything to say to her that may make her feel better. Afterall, I’m to be blamed for being such a jerk.

Thus, I’m listing down the few things that my angel has been tolerating with me and no doubts these are the things that will eventually wear her and this relationship out. And it’s high time I ought to take these things seriously.

1) Smoking

2) Laziness

3) Not keeping my words

4) Lying

5) Taking her for granted

At this point of time, I’m determined to change to a better person for my darling but fear that time will burn away my determination and I’ll be back to my old self.

With this blog entry, I hope to remind myself about this determination I have to make this relationship work before I start to lose this angel of mine.

When dumb people drive, they scratch their Dad’s car

Last night, I drove my darling home using my dad’s car.

Upon reaching home, I couldn’t find a single parking lot at the ground car park. Thus I had to choose an alternative parking lot, the basement car park. Like any dumb people who think they’re smart, I took the short cut I thought could work out.

I reversed the car all the way back to the entrance, tried to U-turn the car into the basement entrance, forgetting the very fact that I was in fact U-turning my dad’s car from a much higher ground to a lower ground.

Anyone with brains upon reading here will stop and wonder, “hey, can you even do that? Wouldn’t the car get stuck? “

In fact, you don’t have to own a driving license or possess any driving experience to know that you can’t turn from a higher ground to a lower ground when you’re driving because the base of the car’s bodykit (the bottom of the car where the suspension is) will eventually hit the higher ground and cause the whole car to stuck there and left the 2 front wheel dangling in mid-air.

Only at the moment, did I realized my stupidity.

I panicked but remained calm at the same time knowing that panicking wouldn’t help. I ran across to get to the coffee shop at the other side of the road asking for help.

Fortunately and thank god, we managed to find 2 concrete slabs to act as a plank and eventually got my car to reverse out of the mess.

Reaching home, I learned 3 important lessons.

Number 1: when you’re in fucking deep shit, open your god damn mouth and ask for help. Because since you’ve already fucked things up, it’s god damn obvious you need help. Otherwise you’re just gonna make things worse.

Number 2: next time when you think you’ve thought of a damn good, near perfection plan and yet knowing the fact that you’re just a dumb witted ass, don’t act smart. As the saying goes, ” Kiang jiu ho, mai keng kiang “. Literally translate means, ” Being clever is simply good enough, don’t try to act any smarter than that “.

Number 3: don’t take short cuts in life. It took me all this while to realize that it wouldn’t kill to just go all the way out and enter the car park again.

Just thought of posting this entry to share my experience and lessons learned through what most people would think of as a minor car accident. To me, I understand the foolishness of my ways and never will I try to do something that’s clearly beyond my ability to do so and have the potential to land me in some fucking shit that’s actually avoidable if I’ve just used my brains.”

After last night, I thought everything would be fine. And yet tonight, I scratched my dad’s car again.

This time however, I wouldn’t say that I’m stupid. I would say that I’ve lost confidence in driving because of the fear I have towards screwing up my dad’s car.

Dreams

Since I don’t have anything to blog about, I thought it may not be a bad idea to blog about my dreams.

Don’t get me wrong here, the “dreams” here doesn’t refer to goals and ideas like most of you may think it is. I’m referring to that unexplainable (even by most scientists) thing your brain does when you’re asleep.

Last night, my brain did this shit.

I remembered the tension, the excitement, the frustration I experienced, only to wake up and realized all those feelings or emotions I’ve gone through is a result of my brain’s own imagination tricking itself (which by the way is also me) into thinking I’m facing reality and not dreaming.

The dream goes like this.

I was in a huge hall of some sort, probably the previous church I used to attend at Paya Lebar because I remember seeing some of the people I used to hang out with in church in it.

I remember I was with 2 or 3 other guys (whom I can’t remember) and we were don in a suit. Like shirt, bow ties, blazer, you get the idea. And we were running around the whole place as if somebody is getting married (which I think that’s the case) or apparently rushing to school because after seeing myself running around in a huge event hall wearing a suit and all, I was doing my school’s worksheet on my laptop and on my notebook.

And this is when all hell break loose.

I was forced to finish the unimaginable amounts of worksheet file saved in my laptop. All had something to do with engineering, science and more engineering. I can’t remember what was the consequences if I can’t finish but you couldn’t imagine the pain I was going through even in my dreams. I was really god damn stress and frustrated. Just when my stress level is reaching its peak, I woke up and immediately, stress and frustration gone.

And that’s about it.

I’m not sure if anyone bothers to read about this entry or even my blog, but hey, that’s the fun of a not so well known blog.

You get to utter nonsense and bullshit here about your private life and you don’t have to fear anyone knowing it.

…

Staring at the screen of my laptop, I seriously can’t think of anything I can write about to publish on my blog.

Thus the title, “…”

Probably everything in my life now is peaceful and thus I’ve no thoughts or feelings.

I’ve got to be thankful for that.

Living in peace is a bit boring but it definitely beats having too much problems and troubles.

Confession of a Mafia Wars Addict

Mafia Wars is gradually gaining its foothold in my life.

The 1st thing, the last thing and probably the only thing (other than DotA) when I on my laptop for the day is Mafia Wars.

It seems like I’m forever embarking on a quest to gain 501 of all the best loot there is to get. Checking back every few hours to see if there’s any jobs I can do, any mafia to whack and any chances of doing something in hope of getting that one damn good loot.

My emotions are pretty dependant on Mafia Wars. I get mad when I couldn’t get a loot despite going the extra mile for it.

I get overjoy when I gained a virtual Guerilla Squad which does me no good at all in my life.

And I get very proud when I completed Jobs Mastery that needs hundreds of depletable loots like Illegal Transaction Records (the ones which have the picture of a woman showing her cleavage which I suspect it’s Zynga’s feeble attempt to attract a group of people who’re desperate enough to masturbate to that) that requires you to spend hours getting them.

Leaving me wondering if I’m losing a screw somewhere in my brain.

It’s pretty lifeless to a logical person but it seems that I’ve lost all sense of logic as I find it to be the best and only entertainment I deem fit to be entertained.

Whatever it is, it’s much better spending time outside where spending time outside now in Singapore means spending more than what you’ve in your wallet.

A simple trip to and fro town like Orchard Road already costs at least $3. Adding in a simple lunch, would mean another $3-5. That’s like $6-8 gone just for killing time outside, gawking at babes, smelling armpits of strangers in a crowded bus and having your lunch by the way.

For now I would rather much Mafia Wars through the holidays. Afterall it’s free and I get to eat a free maggie mee once in a while when I found one lying around in the kitchen whether or not if there’s a note attached to it saying, “do NOT eat”.

Oh, did I mention, please join my mafia, http://apps.facebook.com/inthemafia/status_invite.php?from=571963746

Perhaps Better

Perhaps you’re right.

Perhaps things are much better this way.

It ends tonight

I’ve always know that everything in this world will come to an end someday.

What I don’t know is that it all ends tonight.

The Giver, The Receiver & The One Who Compromise

I’m truly amazed at how time flies and how each fleeting moments turn into a memory as the clock keeps ticking despite times where I found myself wishing it would stop for a moment.

It’s already 3 months for us now.

Somethings have change and somethings remain the same.

I’ve been sharing my life with a wonderful girl for the past 3 months so far and I never regret it for a single moment.

3 months ago, I would say and have told her that she’s the best thing that ever happen to me. Today, I still keep by that statement and say that she’s indeed still the best thing that ever happen to me.

Both of us have evidently change and grow to become dependant on one another even in the smallest of things. And in a relationship like ours, I believe more than often we’ve played a role as the giver, the receiver and the one who compromise.

However, I would like to see myself as the giver more and she as the receiver. But when it comes to compromising, she was the one who fit in that role.

More than often, she would compromise my shortcomings. My laziness, my “heck care” attitude and my smoking habits.

More than often, I took the one who compromises for granted.

I know of all the efforts she put in, the compromises she made and thus I just want to tell her, ” Thanks, I appreciate all that you’ve done. “

In the days to come, I’ll try to relieve her of this role by being part of the one who compromises.

It’s a happy 89 days(for the both of us) and still counting.

Happy 3rd month Anniversary dear.